Monday, January 31, 2011

Top 10 reasons why Bruce Banner's pants don't come off when he turns into the Hulk

10. Elastic waistbands. Wal-Mart has some sweet deals, dude.

9. How many pairs of purple pants have you seen? Those suckers are tough to replace. He doesn't have much of a costume, but goddammit, he needs to protect what he has.

8. He's got a tattoo on his left ass-cheek. He usually isn't embarrassed about stuff like that, but it's of Superman's "S" logo. Moral of the story - don't ever pass out drunk with Jon Bon Jovi after trashing Newark. He's a motherfucker.

7. Tan lines.

6. Sometimes, they do come off, but he wears a second pair of pants under his first pair. Hulk no like going commando.

5. Strength of will.

4. Double stitches.

3. Unstable molecules. What? Everyone accepts that bullshit when the Fantastic Four says it. Racist.

2. Some people thinks he dyes his hair. He likes to to maintain some mystery.

1. If his pants came off, there'd be a big green cock flapping around everywhere. Excelsior!

(this post brought to you by the letter H and A Busy Weekend)

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