Wednesday, August 16, 2006

The Daily Burn is dead, long live Superheroes, etc.

You know how - with ASM and FF, among others - Marvel decided to continue with the original numbering, apparently because they figured that 10 years from now even all the relaunches since the 90's wouldn't confuse new readers enough? That's how I feel right now.

As you may know, I originally blogged on a site called the Daily Burn. I abandoned that blog in late 2005 for Superheroes, etc. But, I kept the blog up and even some of the links you'll find on my sidebar linked to it.

I have just finished copying and pasting the most relevant posts from the Burn into Superheroes, etc., back-dating them so they appear in the archive rather than crowding the recent posts (they all have their original dates and times), and finally deleting The Daily Burn for good. I'm pretty sure I've updated all the links in the sidebar to reflect this, but if you notice anything out of whack, let me know. I apologize to anyone who gets ticked off by this, but I couldn't figure out a way to transfer the comments from the Burn into the posts here.

In part, I did this to get organized. Unfortunately, the idea arose because of something a bit more unnerving.

Since happily accepting ADD's invitation to make Superheroes, etc. a satellite site for Comic Book Galaxy, I've had a significant increase in hits (by the way, thanks both to ADD for the invitation and to all the readers who have been kind enough to stop by Superheroes, etc.). I was checking the hits yesterday and noticed a surprisingly large number of them were coming from the Daily Burn.

The reason, I soon realized, was a bit of a satirical piece I posted some time ago. The original concept of the Daily Burn was that it would be a comic book version of The Onion. I posted mock news articles for laughs. I quickly abandoned that idea, preferring straight commentary. But before the gears shifted, I wrote a mock article titled "STUDY CONFIRMS: NINJAS SUCK." It was poking fun at both the relegation of what have always been nigh-unbeatable warriors into mere cannon fodder in superhero comics; and the fact that so many TV shows, movies, comics, etc., portrayed ninjas as heroes when - as far as I know - in real life they were paid assassins.

Even though the Burn was completely dormant, this parody continued to draw steady attention, particularly from message boards dedicated to arguing over whether Ninjas were better than Pirates (something the second issue of Street Angel had fun with). I don't know where the whole Ninjas vs. Pirates thing came from, but it was funny and harmless, and I thought it was cool these N v. P guys were putting links to the article in their sigs.

Unfortunately, in the last few days something a bit more disturbing happened. There were hits to the Daily Burn coming from a martial arts dojo's message board, and in particular someone responded to the article saying that I would be killed in my sleep. There were a few other angry, non-threatening posts. At first, I took it as a joke. I still think it was a joke. But this is the Internet, and one of the downfalls of the net is that you can't hear the voice behind the words, and unless they say "I'm kidding," or put one of those winky-smiley things in their post, you never really know, do you? And I know there are people who are into martial arts (I certainly hope it's the minority) who get very stupid about it and might actually try to make good on their threats. At my first college I worked at the campus radio station, and we had to kick out a DJ who pulled a fucking samurai sword on another DJ because he hadn't met him and thought he was trying to break into the place. That's the kind of guy I worry about.

So basically, I wanted to distance myself from the Burn as much as possible, and this was something I had been considering anyway.

Peruse the archives if you'd like. They now go back to July 2004. I brought over all the reviews and all the relevant commentary. The only stuff I didn't bring over were posts like "I haven't posted in a while because I'm busy" and "Hey, this site over here is updated!" Oh, and obviously the Ninja article and all the other mock articles are gone.


Anonymous said...

The following reply post is NOT intended to represent the viewpoint of Mick Martin, Superheroes etc., CBG, it's parent companies, this station, Earth "616", Sector 2814 or any affiliates.

It is a mock-opinion, meant in jest.

Thank you.

Eff the sissy ninja's!

Any pirate worth his sea-salt will keelhaul 'em anyways.

I mean...c'mon!

Being a ninja....pffft.
It's like a pajama party that goes on ALL the time.

But instead of hot chix having pillow fights, it's a damn sausage-fest and they beat each other with sticks.

ALL Ninjas can be neutralized pretty quickly by TURNING ON A LIGHT.

"Oh! A guy in his black satin P.J.'s in my room with a stick. What ever shall I do?
Good thing I keep a gun under my pillow."

Then you pull an Indiana Jones on his ass (while he's twirling his sticks) and shoot his ass.

With the possible exception of the "Ask a Ninja" guy (on YouTube), all ninjas are closet cases and in need of counceling.

"Sensei. My family have been killed and my honor is at stake."

Sensei is just looking to use your poor-self image and grief issues to turn you into one of his little pajama-wearing cult members.


Process your grief, grow a backbone and take care of bizniz.

A RONIN! Now THAT's the way to be.
NO MAN is my master!
I kick ass and take names ON MY TERMS!

Ronin are the cool kids who were expelled from "ninja-day-school".

Ninjas...the ONLY thing good about being a ninja?
Already got your costume for Halloween.

And since no one can see your face, you can go to the same house, like, 10 times.
Candy up the ass, man!

Hmmm...but I think that's where they'd have to STORE the candy haul anyway.
Not like there are any POCKETS in those pajamas.

Which brings to mind...WHRE do they stash all those weapons?
Swords, daggers, shuriken, bo staff, shuko neko-ta takagi, shinobigatana and such?

That's right.
Up. The. Ass.

Hey...uh...Mick...this little post isn't gonna give you any trouble, is it?

If so, then I meant to say that ALL Ninja's are stealthy, invisible warriors with a code of honor and mad-skillz.

Pirates are just rum-drinking, wench-bangin', treasure-hordin', adventure-seekin', sea-air breathin', cool-shirt wearin', eye-patch sportin', shiver-me-timberin', knee-high leather boot stylin', do-what-you-like livin' scalawags!

Oooh! I wanna be a PIRATE!


* smiley placement to let EVERYONE KNOW (ninja's included) that I'm JUST KIDDING! Lighten up.

Ninja's are very cool.


Mick Martin said...

Of course, P-TOR, I doubt your post will draw me any negative attention.

But if anyone is angered by P-TOR's comments, his home address is available for a reasonable prive.